She Told Me

She told me she wished for me, Adventure
As I recalled her dimming gaze while I blubbered my story
all over the hurdles of her disinterest

She told me that if I had enough adventure
I won't have trouble telling my story
And not just be the same old me
when we meet each other

But I was trying to tell my story
The days my heart felt alive
And I was preparing to share them
Kept remembering them so they can survive
Until the time you come and ask me how life is

And I was ready.
My tongue still jumps at the freshness
Until you said, wasn't that a long time ago?
Suddenly, all my memories are cracked and useless

And you wish for me, Adventure.
So I can send you exciting news
Because when adventure happens
Stories just pile up and overflow

Like yours?

And you think I never had that.

So, it's been a decade and you think
That the life I led so far is not good enough to listen to?
As if there were standards in life to be pit against
and I was unhappy because I'm not ticking enough boxes

It's your standards of listening that is too high
And your standard of friendship too low
If you've entertained me once and not consider me a vessel or a pitcher
You would have learned things that would make you weep with sadness and joy

I am your friend.
That one friend that talks to you all night with excited reactions because I was looking at your thoughts, no matter what kind.
Who knows when you're itching to say something and when to not bother you.

I am that friend who has been wondering why until now, you can't even begin to know how to find out my thoughts.

And you wish me Adventure.
No, I don't want adventure.

I'm not saying I'm not passive in life
Or that I have not had opportunities let go and pass me by
Or that I'm the perfect friend or anything--
All I'm saying is,
No. Never mind. You probably don't want to know that either.